You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
