I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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