Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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