I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
