butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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