why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
