I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
