i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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