his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
