Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize