i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
