I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
