Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My vagina is officially offended.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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