So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
