Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
