Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
