she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
