Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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