Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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