Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the day after is always just damage control
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
