i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
