I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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