Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
