5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
