remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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