At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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