u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize