Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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