Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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