Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
