i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
