So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize