can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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