She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
