Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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