shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
COCAINE IS GR8
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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