Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
