my vag is so smooth its legendary
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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