dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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