I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
