we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
