you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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