Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize