i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
