you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
