Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
