Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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