i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
