It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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