Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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