i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
