i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
