He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
