matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Drunk is a universal language darling
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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