You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
