even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
