Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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