I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
