just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize