Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dick very happy bro
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
