Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize