I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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