There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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